social emotional learning

What is the difference between fear of losing and fear of failure?

It’s a given that everyone wishes to win. And now you know that fear of losing simply fosters more winning. Yet, fear of failure is the end of the road. Quitting is the most perfect description for failure and in failure, you will lose. It, failing, is a distraction from the game or project and self-worth is non-existent.

Many young competitors fear throwing a football too short, or putting an incompetent label on an experiment, or fear a grade that is less than an “A” or 4.0, or even fear hitting a ball in the tennis net. When not kept in check, these fears are fears of failure where a participant believes that they have totally failed at the game or project. In actuality, this person or persons may feel unworthy of anything in life including their self-worth. When these examples are presented to a healthier person that fears losing, then they will always want to win more and at a higher rate. This person desires winning more because they don’t translate the losses into failures.

We all know that winning is the best feeling. We’re on top of the world. All things are bound in grand favor with ourselves and others. Many of the greatest people in history hated losing more than winning. Convenient for them that winning was present and their philosophy of fearing losing matched exactly with that of winning. The one that fears failure is the loser. They usually quit their activity in seeming disgrace. However, it is incredible that after many years these persons may give up fear of failure and simply want to win more, and it works for them through trial and error. Not much coaching is offered in this area. The vast majority will remain retired with disgust and failure on their minds and potentially be failures forever.

Personally, I advocate that the word failure not ever be used. In my mind, there are no failures and nothing should be translated into failure by ourselves and those important to us. Failure is a grand attack work that devastates young people. Simply take on your loses for what they are which is not winning. You will then want to win more. You will then excel in all of your endeavors.